The funeral is over. The casseroles are gone. And now you’re standing in your mom’s kitchen, looking at her coffee mug still in the sink, trying to figure out what on earth you’re supposed to do with an entire house.
Here’s the thing nobody tells you: you don’t have to decide today. You don’t even have to decide this month. But there are a handful of practical things to handle in the first few weeks — and a few decisions worth thinking through before you put a sign in the yard or hand the keys to a sibling.
This is the roadmap most families wish someone had handed them.
Don’t Make the Big Decision in the First 30 Days
Selling a parent’s home in the first month of grief is one of the most common decisions people regret. So is the opposite — deciding to keep it forever because you can’t face cleaning it out yet.
Most estate planners suggest sitting with the decision for at least 60 to 90 days. The house isn’t going anywhere. The bills, however, are. So while you’re not making the big call yet, you do need to handle a few things to keep the house standing and your finances protected.
Week One: Lock the House Down
Whether you ultimately keep, sell, or rent it, the house has to be safe and insured starting now. A vacant home with lapsed insurance is a financial sinkhole waiting to happen.
- Call the homeowner’s insurance company. Standard policies often have clauses that cancel or limit coverage when a home is vacant for 30 to 60 days. Ask specifically about a vacant home rider or a separate vacant home policy. Don’t assume the existing policy still covers you — many don’t.
- Forward the mail. Set up mail forwarding through USPS to whoever is handling the estate. Identity theft against deceased people is alarmingly common, and a mailbox stuffed with statements is a giveaway that the house is empty.
- Keep the utilities on. Power, water, and heat are not optional — you need them for showings, for cleanouts, and to prevent burst pipes or mold. Switch the bills to the estate’s name and pay them from the estate account.
- Change the locks if needed. Especially if anyone outside the immediate family had a key — cleaners, neighbors, contractors, an ex-partner. It’s not paranoid. It’s standard practice.
- Take photos and an inventory. Walk through every room with your phone before anyone moves anything. You’ll want this for insurance, for the probate accounting, and for family conversations later about who claimed what.
Figure Out Who Actually Owns the House Now
This is the part most families skip and then get stuck on six weeks later. The legal owner of the home isn’t always the obvious person. Before you can sell, rent, or transfer it, you need to know how the title was held. Common scenarios:
- Joint tenancy with right of survivorship — the surviving co-owner (often a spouse) automatically becomes sole owner. The house typically doesn’t go through probate at all. You usually file a death certificate with the county recorder and update the title.
- Transfer-on-death deed (TOD) — if your loved one filed one before they died, the named beneficiary inherits the home directly, also outside of probate. Available in most states, but not all.
- Living trust — if the home was titled in a revocable living trust, the successor trustee distributes it according to the trust. Faster than probate, and private.
- Sole ownership with a will — the home becomes part of the estate and goes through probate. The executor cannot sell or transfer it until the court issues authority (typically letters testamentary).
- Sole ownership with no will — intestate succession laws in your state decide who inherits. This almost always requires probate and often takes longer.
Pull the deed from the county recorder’s office (most are searchable online for free) so you know what you’re actually working with. If anything looks complicated — multiple owners, an unclear title, a reverse mortgage — this is the moment to call a probate attorney rather than guess.
Understand the Mortgage Situation
Mortgages don’t disappear when the borrower dies. The loan still has to be paid, and missed payments can lead to foreclosure even mid-probate.
If your loved one had a traditional mortgage, the estate is responsible for keeping payments current until the home is sold or refinanced. A federal law called the Garn-St Germain Act prevents the lender from calling the loan due in full when a relative inherits and moves into the home, but you usually need to notify the lender and provide documentation. Some lenders let you assume the loan; others require a refinance.
If there’s a reverse mortgage, the rules are different and tighter. Heirs typically have around six months from the date of death to sell the home, refinance, or pay off the balance, with possible extensions. Don’t wait on this one — call the loan servicer in the first two weeks.
Three Options — Keep, Sell, or Rent
Once the house is locked down, the title is clear, and the mortgage is current, you actually have time to think. The three real options:
Keep it. Maybe one heir wants to live there. Maybe the family wants to hold it as a vacation place. Make sure everyone agrees, agree on who pays what, and put it in writing — even between siblings. The IRS may also require a step-up in basis appraisal as of the date of death, which protects you on capital gains if you ever sell later.
Sell it. The most common choice. Get at least two market-value opinions — ideally a licensed appraiser plus a comparative market analysis from a local agent. The estate pays the agent commission, closing costs, and any repairs from the proceeds. Sale proceeds typically go into the estate account and get distributed according to the will.
Rent it. Less common, but real. If you don’t need the cash and the market isn’t favorable, renting can preserve the asset. Just understand you’re becoming a landlord — with insurance, taxes, repairs, and tenant management. Talk to a tax professional about how rental income affects the estate and your own taxes.
What to Do Next
- Confirm homeowner’s insurance is active and covers a vacant home through at least the next 90 days.
- Pull the deed from the county recorder and figure out exactly how the title was held.
- Call the mortgage servicer (or reverse mortgage servicer) within two weeks of the death to put them on notice.
- Order at least two market-value opinions before you decide anything — one appraiser, one local agent.
- Hold a no-pressure family conversation around the 60-day mark about keep, sell, or rent — not before.
It’s easier to make the big decision when the small things are already handled.
The Estate bundle includes 16 step-by-step worksheets — an Inherited Property Decision Worksheet, an Asset and Property Inventory, a Final Arrangements Worksheet, and account closure trackers — to keep all of this organized in one place. Browse planning tools at lumeway.co.
You don’t have to decide today. You just have to keep the lights on while you figure it out.
This post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, financial, or tax advice. Real estate, probate, and mortgage rules vary by state and lender. Consult a probate attorney, licensed real estate professional, or tax advisor for guidance specific to your situation.